Wow, it’s nice to see someone making amps and effects with no regard for the tone-obsessed dip-shits who spend all day at Guitar Center telling everyone how they spent thousands of dollars on an amp because Steve Vai used it on Firegarden. Assholes.

Metasonix makes tube-driven guitar amps and effects with tubes not meant for guitar amplification. With names like “G-1000 Fucking Fucker” and “TM-7 Scrotum Smasher” (my personal favorite) these puppies aren’t for the faint of heart, and Metasonix has no problem telling you that right to your fucking face!

“The TM-7 is for the DISCIPLINED, intelligent, non-risk-averse musician. It is NOT SUITABLE for whiny little d00dz who seek the Ultimate Tone. Suck it, Dimebag fans. And stop flossing your ragged green teeth with your crotch hair. You disgust me. Scrotum!”

I’m sold. I want one to run my turntable through!